How to Always Be Right and Never Ever Wrong

Yes, you read that right. I promise, in the span of this short blog post, to teach you how to always be right and never ever wrong. And I even promise that this article won’t be half as click-baity as that headline makes it seem.

When I graduated from High School, my father, lovingly forced me into my first summer job. I was an assistant for the local summer fun program. We were the glorified baby sitters of the community. Little did I know, this thankless, unpaid job would eventually teach me a valuable life lesson.

The Summer Fun Program

During this summer we had the kids play many fun activities. Freeze tag. Basketball. Dodgeball. Except we were really worried about kids getting hurt (including their self-esteem) so every game had it’s own politically correct twist. Kids didn’t have to stay frozen during freeze tag because, it would hurt their feelings. We didn’t keep score during basketball for the same reason. And in Dodgeball… Well this one took the cake.

First of all, we didn’t play with real rubber balls. We played with ultra soft foam balls. I swear, if you could get injured by one of these balls then you’ve got bigger problems because apparently you have brittle bones. But there was another rule that astonished me.

Unlike in dodgeball, when a child was hit by a ball thrown by the other team, they were not kicked out of the game. Actually, they simply switched teams to the other side. This was the rule: if you got hit by the ball then you need to switch to the other team. As I watched them play through this game I realized that this wasn’t a penalty. No, they were actually being rewarded for being hit by the ball. Because, if you got hit by a ball then, more likely than not, you were on the side with less people, and now you were supposed to transition to the side with more people. In a few short minutes one side kept getting more and more kids until they completely overwhelmed the opposing team. Each child was disappointed to be “losing” yet forgot all that disappointment as soon as they realized they were now on the “winning” team.

At the time, I was so frustrated by how PC this game was. How it was so afraid of hurting our children’s feelings that it sheltered them from the inevitable age-old life lesson: “You win some, you lose some.” And I do still hold that criticism against this game. However, many years later, I realized that this taught me a valuable insight about arguments.

About Arguments

You see, in many ways, dodgeball is quite similar to an argument. In most arguments we seem to have a concept of “winning” and “losing”. We say to ourselves Oh no, I must not lose this argument. We also think in terms of sides or teams. Are you on my side or theirs? Are you with me or against me? We hate when someone proves that we are wrong because we think that it means that we “lost” and they “won”. We can’t bear the humiliation of loss, so we keep stubbornly holding onto our arguments, even when we know that we are wrong.

This is the ugly side of arguments. But why does it have to be this way? Why must there be winners or losers? What if we simply admitted that we were wrong?

You see, a really interesting thing happened during those PC dodgeball games. First of all, the kids were still disappointed when they were hit with the ball. Proof that kids are kids, and they’re going to find something to cry about no matter how hard you shelter them. But something else happened that surprised me. Stubbornness. Most kids, simply refused to acknowledge or even believe that they had been hit by a ball. No matter what, they denied it. They were in tears.

But the ironic thing is that if they simply admitted that they got hit, then they would move from the losing team to the winning team and all their disappointment would go away.

Hey isn’t that just like an argument?

Why Not Just “Lose” the Argument?

In life, it’s only a matter of time until you step into an argument with someone. And it’s only a matter of time until you pick the wrong side and someone else proves that you are wrong. This is a humiliating place to be. No one likes to be proven wrong.

But why? If you simply admit that you are wrong, then you are saying that you no longer believe what you used to believe. You now believe what they believe. You have just switched sides, which means that you are not wrong anymore. Are you catching what I’m saying? Admit that you’re wrong, and then now you are not wrong anymore. Now you are right.

How to Always Be Right

So how can we always be right? Simple. Admit when you are wrong.

Some might call this “flip-flopping” but I think there’s a much better name for this: humility. True, if you simply switched to whatever argument is the most popular, and you flip-flop to another side even when you don’t actually agree with it, then yeah, that would be flip-flopping. But if you actually believe that you are wrong and you actually change your mind to the thing that you now think is right, then that’s not flip-flopping, that’s just being humble. That’s called growth.

If you are actually wrong, then just admit it. You’re wrong. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s not the end of the world. And in fact, once you admit you’re wrong, then now you’ve changed your beliefs, and you are no longer wrong anymore. Now, you’re right!

So, what if we lived that way all the time? What if we stopped caring so damn much about being “right” or “winning”. What if we instead focused on finding the truth? Wouldn’t that be easier? Then we no longer have to worry about our ego, or “winning”. Then, if someone else “wins” and proves us wrong, it’s no longer a threat to us. Now, instead of being mad at someone we can thank them for proving us wrong, because what’s really happening is they are showing us the truth. And shouldn’t we be happy when someone has shown us the truth?

So the next time you find yourself in an argument, ask yourself: “Am I actually right?” If you are, then great! But if you’re not, then just admit it. You’re wrong. Then just switch sides and now you’re right again! 🏆